Five times ten
by nutellaette
Summary: A series of ficlets and one-shots based off of fifty prompts, written in various universes.  They were shinobi. Great and unique beings, powerful enough to break the ground with their fists and spit fire.
1. Cook 40

I disclaim.

* * *

><p><em>It's never a good thing when Haru cooks.<em>

* * *

><p>The first time she failed a mission, and the first time he was exposed to her habit of cooking when she was upset, it had been a Wednesday. Neji was thirteen and she was twelve and he had come home to the unmistakable smell of green tea, only it smelled… wrong somehow. Burnt.<p>

His nose crinkled as he slipped his sandals off and walked down the hall to the kitchen of their little duplex on the edge of the grounds of the Hyuuga Compound, close to the woods. When he opened the door, his nose wrinkled even more and he saw her, sitting on the ground against the refrigerator, a plate with a dark brown, crusty-looking square on it in her lap.

The kitchen was a mess—flour was everywhere and there were containers and batter all over the counters. It looked like she had been in there all day, throwing ingredients every which-way and burning… whatever it was she had been trying to bake to a crisp. There were loaves of the mysterious substance all over the counter, and Neji noticed that two of them had kunai lodged in the tops.

He asked her what she had been doing, and what that _stench_ was, and she looked up at him with watery, wide eyes before she proceeded to cry and blubber into her hands, making him extremely uncomfortable. Haru hadn't cried in front of him for years, after all, and he wasn't sure what to do to make her stop making those awful sounds. He was so confused and felt so awkward that all he could do was go to his room and leave her alone, hoping she would be better the next time he saw her.

* * *

><p>And then, the second time, the day Mamoru called her a talentless, flat-chested freak and told her no man would ever want her for a wife, he had been in his room, meditating. Gai had let him leave training early because he had a training session with Hiashi-sama that night. He had some free time, so he thought he might as well center himself before the ass-kicking he was sure to get later.<p>

He had been sitting in his room for about ten minutes before he heard her stomping around in an uncharacteristically loud manner. He tried to ignore her, but as time passed and she started slamming things around, his patience grew thin. He stormed out of his room and found her in the kitchen again, looking like she was about to kill something. It smelled like chocolate and there was flour and cocoa powder all over her front. She had her fingers dipped in what looked like chocolate cake batter and she scooped some up into her mouth before looking at him.

"It's mine," she snarled, hugging the bowl closer to her and glaring at him for a few moments. He kept his gaze even and calm, even though he wanted to ask her if she had eaten anything funny or if she had just drugged herself. Eventually she looked down into the bowl, her expression changing from that of a hardened mask to a worried pout. She chewed her lip before tossing the bowl into the sink, batter still inside.

"Is there something wrong with it?" he asked, careful to keep his tone rather neutral. His sister could be a tad bit unpredictable sometimes, and he didn't want to upset her anymore than she clearly already was.

"No," she said, her eyebrows knitting together as she looked at the counter instead of him. Something was clearly worrying her, only Neji wasn't sure what it was and he didn't know how to go about getting her to tell him.

"Can I taste?" he asked, unsure of even why he was asking. He didn't like sweets much, and he wasn't even sure what it was he was asking to taste.

"Yeah," she said, grabbing a wooden spoon and dipping it in the batter before handing it to him.

He walked over to her and took the spoon, inspecting the substance closely before hesitantly putting it into his mouth. He was surprised at the flavor. It was chocolatey, but not overly so. He wasn't sure if it was cake batter or what, but it was actually pretty good.

He took another bite before setting the spoon down.

"It's pretty good," he said, relatively impressed with her. The last time she had tried baking, after all, it hadn't turned out so well.

"Really?" she asked, looking surprised.

"Really," he affirmed, and she looked a little less depressed. "Why don't you bake it? I'm sure it would turn out fine," he suggested, and when she looked at him surprised, he picked up the bowl, glad it hadn't spilled into the sink and set it on the counter.

She nodded and got a pan to cook it in and she poured the batter inside, making sure it was evenly distributed before she put it in the oven. They sat in the living room together, and for a few moments they didn't say anything.

And then she started telling him about her day and what was bugging her.

Neji learned that day that all he had to do was be there for her and she would open up to him.

He figured he could do that if it'd make her smile again.

* * *

><p>And times like that happened over and over again, from the day she got into a fight with him because Lee told her what he had done to Hinata-sama during the preliminary rounds, to the day that Kiba yelled at her for dropping Hinata after she passed out during training with her team, to the first time she took the Chuunin exam and failed. Neji gradually got better at handling his sister. And she got better at baking.<p>

One day, when he was sixteen, he came home in the middle of the day with Lee. They had been training all day and after Tenten collapsed from exhaustion, Gai instructed the Hyuuga genius and his taijutsu-expert protégé to go train on their own, have fun, and strengthen their bond.

Neji decided he would meditate while the taijutsu expert had fun with the pair of sai his grandfather had given him and he never had the intentions of using.

Sounded like bonding to Neji.

"Neji... there is a weird sound coming from your house," Lee said as they stopped by the main door, slipping his shinobi sandals off. Neji, who had been busy untangling his hair from a troublesome branch, looked up at Lee, his ears straining. Lee was right. It sounded like... a chainsaw. Or some other terribly dangerous mechanical device.

"Damn!" he said, and flew inside, his sandals still on his feet.

In the kitchen was Haru. With the mixer.

Neji blanched.

"Haru, what happened this time?" he asked as Lee padded into the room, looking around the place. He'd never been inside before.

"Nothing, nii-san," she said quietly, eying Lee warily. Neji looked at her, letting her know that he saw through her lie and that he would talk with her later. Now, he needed to give Lee those sai to distract him before Gai found out they were slacking. The Hyuuga didn't quite feel like running on his hands around Konoha.

"What are these for?" he asked, gesturing towards the basket of bread. They looked like buns and it smelled like melon. This was a new recipe. He had to make sure she was okay before he took care of his hyper teammate.

"Haru-chan, these smell great!" Lee said enthusiastically over Neji as he walked to the breakfast bar, and he grabbed one of the buns and made to shoved it into his mouth.

"Lee-senpai, don't!" Haru said, throwing herself clear over the counter and snatching the pastry out of Lee's hand before he could bite into it, rolling onto the floor with the bun safely in her hand.

"Why not?" the green-clad chuunin asked curiously, looking a little disappointed, actually, sad that he had been denied what looked to be a tasty treat.

He and Neji were both unprepared for her answer.

"They have poison in them," she said, admonishing him for eating so carelessly.

Neji looked at his sister, thoroughly worried for her mental health and sanity. "Haru... why did you make melon pan with poison in it?" he asked, his voice calm and even.

"They're for Mamoru-dobe, that bastard," she said simply, and a timer dinged and she took more out of the oven.

Lee's eyes bugged out of his head and he looked at her, his jaw hanging open. Neji just pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, taking a few deep breaths before looking back at his sister. She was placing all of the buns into the basket, tossing out the one Lee had almost bitten into. After she folded some light blue cloth over the pastries, she scribbled something on a card in writing that was different than her usual, and she placed it on top of the cloth.

"Why are you poisoning your teammate, may I ask?" Neji asked, preparing himself to go beat up the little shit himself.

"Well… I should show you," she said, setting the basket on the counter, and she disappeared into the hall and he heard her quietly walk to her room. A few moments later, she peeked around the corner, biting her lip.

"Yes?" Neji asked, slightly impatient, his over-active, protective, big-brother-mind going into hyperdrive.

She jumped into view, revealing what she had been hiding. It was a forest green flak jacket, the same color as the one that Lee was wearing over his jumpsuit. She was grinning widely from ear-to-ear and she was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet a little bit.

"You… that's…" Neji fumbled, a little confused.

"I'm a _chuunin_, nii-san!" she squealed happily, running and jumping into his arms, laughing.

"Oh—oh! Good job, Haru-chan!" he said, rubbing the top of her head as she hugged him, wrapping his other around her shoulders.

"Congratulations!" Lee said, hugging her once she had let go of her brother.

"Thank you, nii-san! Lee-senpai!" she said, still grinning as she hugged her flak jacket to her.

"But… Haru-san… I do not understand. If you made it to chuunin, why are you… poisoning Mamoru-san?" Lee asked, confused.

Haru grinned at him as widely as she could. Neji thought her face might split in two. "He made it, too! This is my way of congratulating him!" she said, tapping Lee on the nose before grabbing her basket and skipping out of the room and out of the house.

"She… Is she allowed to do that?" Lee asked, looking back at where she disappeared.

"Maybe not. But it's how she shows her affection towards him," Neji said with a shrug, walking over to a bookcase to get the box the sai were in.

When he turned back to face Lee, he was still staring at the door, looking shocked and, if Neji wasn't mistaken (which he never was), scared.

* * *

><p><em>Except for when it is.<em>

A/N: I've been writing a lot of Naruto lately, and he's the first thing that I've been excited enough about to post. It's part of my fifty-prompt challenge that I'm doing, and this number 40 on the table—_Cook. _I decided to have some fun with it. The first thing Haru tries to make is green tea pound cake, even though it turns out to be more like green tea brick. The second is brownies, and the third are melon buns, which are little round Japanese bread pastries.

Haru and Mamoru belong to me, Neji and Lee belong to Kishi.


	2. News 50

News (50)

* * *

><p>I disclaim.<p>

* * *

><p>It's a Wednesday morning when she discovers that it's the end of the world.<p>

She wakes up to the sun streaming in through the blinds on her windows, as per usual, and she lies in bed for about fifteen minutes, cuddling her favorite pillow, as per usual. She knows her brother is probably meditating in his room—as per usual. He always wakes up before she does.

The flat is quiet, as she would expect it to be. They're the only ones living in it, after all. They live in their own flat in the larger Hyuuga family compound, which is so large that it's practically its own neighbourhood.

Haru stretches, her back popping, and she breathes in deeply, letting the breath out in a slow, heavy sigh.

And then she hears them.

The sirens.

They start off low quiet and then quickly swell into this great, large sound that she cannot ignore, that freezes her mid-stretch, that makes her heart race and her face drain of colour. It's an automatic reaction she has to the sounds that undeniably scream to her that _something is wrong. _She scrambles up as the third wail goes off, telling herself it's probably nothing. It _is _just another usual morning, after all. Grabbing a robe, she slips it on and ties the obi before walking out of her room and into the kitchen. She turns on the small television and while she waits for the screen to warm up and show the picture, she jogs to Neji's room, her socked feet sliding slightly on the clean, polished hardwood floors.

She knocks on the wooden frame of the door once before sliding it open. "Nii-san, the—the—" she stutters, and the words won't come out because she's out of breath and her heart feels weird from the shock of the sirens and the jogging and the _un_usual morning activity.

"I hear them, Haru," he says dismissively, not opening his eyes from where he sits on his bedroom floor, his legs crossed, hands on his knees. "They are probably just testing them again."

Though he makes a good point, Haru rolls her eyes heavenwards, she whips around, leaving his door wide open, knowing that it will bug him and he will eventually emerge from his room. The television's screen has shown up and Haru leans close to the fuzzy, grainy screen as she turns up the volume on the national news station, her eyes growing wide as she takes in what's happening.

Something was wrong. Is wrong. The sirens are still blaring and Haru shivers, goose bumps erupting all over her body as she listens to the news report, her eyes focused on the sitting form of a weary-looking man as he tells her and the rest of the people watching that the world is, in fact, ending. At least, that's what she takes this news for.

A few minutes later, as she had predicted, Neji shuffles into the room, unable to get back to his peaceful happy place. "So? What does the television—" he begins as he checks on his steeping tea, his tone suggesting that he was about to mock her, but Haru hushes him and turns up the volume, stepping back so he can see the screen as well. A news reporter, her hair falling out of its bun and her hands shaking, reads her script, her voice wavering.

"_For those of you just joining us here on FCTV, good morning and good luck. This morning, much of the country awoke to mass hysteria and destruction as the highly infectious and disastrous virus that began in the western part of the world has finally reached the Fire Country. The source of the virus is as of yet unknown, but government officials recommend limiting outdoor activity and sanitizing water before use to prevent unnecessary victims of this catastrophic disease_—"

"This is ridiculous," Neji mutters, and he pours his tea into his cup, blowing on it lightly before raising it to his lips.

"Nii-san,_ don't drink that!_" Haru howls, and she snatches the glass out of his grasp, pouring the hot tea down the drain and throwing the cup in the rubbish pail, breaking it.

"Are you out of your mind?" he demands indignantly as she pours out the rest of the tea from the kettle.

"Are _you?_" she retorts angrily, glaring at him. "I am _too young to be an orphan, _dammit," she huffs, tossing the kettle in the rubbish as well. She opens her mouth to go on, but catches sight of the television screen again and stops, grabbing Neji's elbow and pointing.

The screen is split now, between the harried reporter at her desk and a woman in a crisp lavender suit, looking out of place as she stands in the midst of what appears to be a war zone.

"_Amaru, here, for FCTV. Well, since our last report, this small town near the western border has completely fallen siege to the virus. In about eight hours, the so-called Z-Virus infected every man, woman and child of the village. Whether or not the fast consumption of the area was because of poor living conditions or the potency of the virus is yet unknown. The national government, however, has declared a state of emergency in this area, and if you would like to donate money to helping fund refuges for survivors in and around the area of infection, please call_—"

"Tch. How ridiculous," Neji scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. "Who would give money to such a—"

Haru cuts him off again, this time with a scream of utter terror.

The news reporter to the right of the screen, the one in the field, is being attacked by a mottled, hunched figure. Its skin is a sickly grey-green and there are blood patches around the body. Red eyes are glowing as it slobbers over the woman's shoulder as it wraps its arm around her neck from behind. Yellowed, pointed teeth gleam in the light as the monster—the _zombie_—lunges forward. And just as it bites into her flesh, tearing at muscle and bone, Neji turns the channel as he reflexively pulls Haru by the head to implant her face firmly in his shoulder, keeping her there with one hand on the back of her head.

"Do not. Watch that," he instructs her in clipped, forceful tones as he keeps changing channels. It seems that the news is being broadcasted by every station, even the nature channel. He settles for a news station with a grim-looking man addressing the audience. Neji takes his hand away from his younger sister's skull and watches the television intently. He's listing off villages with known infections—Konoha, thank the Gods, is not one of them—and he's advising the public what to do.

"_For those of you whose villages are at the moment not yet under siege, I urge you to get to higher ground—literally. Stock up on food and ammunition and water—you'll need them all, especially if you plan to wait this out and to survive. Leading experts suggest automatic weapons such as_—"

He turns the television off. "Haru, listen closely—"

"Nii-chan, we're all going to _die!_" she wails, slightly dramatically, and she clings onto the front of his robes so desperately that it he fears that she's going to start sobbing uncontrollably and hysterically any second now.

"Haru, listen to me. Keep a level head. This kind of desperation is what will be ultimately detrimental to our situation. You need to go to your room, get dressed in your Academy clothes, and pack a rucksack. Bring medical supplies and kunai and shuriken and wire and whatever else you see fit. I'm going to go do the same. We leave in twenty minutes for the Academy," he instructs, his voice level and calm, as it always is.

"Yes, nii-san," she says, sobering up a little, and she rushes to her room. She stands in the middle, looking around at all of her belongings, feeling overwhelmed. She wants to take _all _of it. What if they don't come back? She has a lot precious things to her in her momento box. But that would be impractical to bring, wouldn't it?

She puts a hand to her head. She had never thought of the answer to the question: _What do you bring with you during a zombie apocalypse_?

* * *

><p>AN: Expect more prompts related to this !verse. It's certainly fun to write.


End file.
